I recently had the pleasure of bringing one of our church kids down from a small tantrum.
He had forgotten to feed the fish, so his mom said she’d do it. “But I want to feed my fish!” I was offered the chance to field the situation, which I, of course, had to do. I knocked softly and entered the darkened room, sat behind the slightly cracked door, and with just enough light to discern the outline of a distraught small child I listened to how much he wanted to feed his fish. After a while he decided that no matter how hard he tried, it wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to feed his fish that night. It’s rough learning that you can’t always get what you want.
After that dust was settled we started talking about the rest of life, his friends and the games they played, which is grown up stuff for a kid. And then he told me he was scared of Mean Guys.
“Who are Mean Guys?”
“Mean Guys have swords, and when you’re asleep, they cut your head off!”
My experience and rationale told me that was ridiculous, and while Mean Guys with swords certainly could chop off a person’s head, there were no Mean Guys in the room. But, after reading Madeleine L’Engel’s Walking on Water, I had to remember that children have their own reality. I decided I’d go with it.
“Mean Guys, huh?”
“Yea! They’re really big, and even if you have a knife, they have swords, and they’re bigger.”
“Oh, yea, that’s bad. Do you think God’s bigger than the Mean Guys?”
He thought about it for a second, pointer finger on his chin, of course. And he responded,
“God’s bigger than everything! He’s even bigger than Giants. Like, God, if he puts up his finger, he can touch a cloud. But a Giant has to use his whole arm! God can even jump over a whole mountain, or pick a mountain up.”
“So, do you think God can keep you safe?”
“… Yea, I guess so.”
“So, you gonna go to bed?”
Realizing he’d probably been tricked, he let out a submissive “Okay.”
And then we prayed that God would keep him safe from the Mean Guys. I haven’t seen him since, but I’m thinking he made it through the night just fine.
I learned this lesson that night: Faith has to make sense for the real problems in life. We can talk about things that have to do with our beliefs, faith, religion, etc., and that’s great. We can discuss God is love, Jesus as man, and the Holy Spirit’s role in our lives. But until these truths deal concretely with the problems in our lives, they don’t mean much of anything to most people.
How well are we equipped as Christians to explain God in a way that makes sense to people? More importantly, in a way that matters to people? I’ve found that if God can’t keep a person safe from the Mean Guys, it really doesn’t matter if Jesus died for their sins. Theologically speaking, that’s really hard for me to say, but if it doesn't deal with real life, it's probably bad theology anyway.
While I don’t have any quick fix answers on how to make faith matter for someone else, I will suggest one thing: Listening.
If you listen to a person long enough, they will tell you what matters to them. They might not say it right out, but if you really listen you’ll hear themes, names, stories come up over and over again. Listen to any mother; you’ll know her kids matter to her. Listen to a teenager; it won’t take long to know whether they’re trying to fit in, or if they get along with their parents, or if they feel like they’re worth anything.
Then, after listening, listen again. This time, listen to the Holy Spirit. What does God offer that situation, that hurt? How is God able to speak into that life? What is the hope that matters in their life? That’s the hardest part to figure out. But if you’re not wrestling with that, you’re probably not doing much evangelizing, which is not (contrary to popular belief) converting people, it’s spreading the Good News.
What is the good news? It’s going to be different in every situation. Ultimately, we believe the good news is that Jesus has reconciled us with God the Father, and the Holy Spirit goes along with us to bring about a better world for everyone until Jesus comes again. But people need you to bring them real good news that matters for their lives.
For one kid, the good news that matters is that God is bigger than Mean Guys.
What’s the Good News in your life?
He had forgotten to feed the fish, so his mom said she’d do it. “But I want to feed my fish!” I was offered the chance to field the situation, which I, of course, had to do. I knocked softly and entered the darkened room, sat behind the slightly cracked door, and with just enough light to discern the outline of a distraught small child I listened to how much he wanted to feed his fish. After a while he decided that no matter how hard he tried, it wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to feed his fish that night. It’s rough learning that you can’t always get what you want.
After that dust was settled we started talking about the rest of life, his friends and the games they played, which is grown up stuff for a kid. And then he told me he was scared of Mean Guys.
“Who are Mean Guys?”
“Mean Guys have swords, and when you’re asleep, they cut your head off!”
My experience and rationale told me that was ridiculous, and while Mean Guys with swords certainly could chop off a person’s head, there were no Mean Guys in the room. But, after reading Madeleine L’Engel’s Walking on Water, I had to remember that children have their own reality. I decided I’d go with it.
“Mean Guys, huh?”
“Yea! They’re really big, and even if you have a knife, they have swords, and they’re bigger.”
“Oh, yea, that’s bad. Do you think God’s bigger than the Mean Guys?”
He thought about it for a second, pointer finger on his chin, of course. And he responded,
“God’s bigger than everything! He’s even bigger than Giants. Like, God, if he puts up his finger, he can touch a cloud. But a Giant has to use his whole arm! God can even jump over a whole mountain, or pick a mountain up.”
“So, do you think God can keep you safe?”
“… Yea, I guess so.”
“So, you gonna go to bed?”
Realizing he’d probably been tricked, he let out a submissive “Okay.”
And then we prayed that God would keep him safe from the Mean Guys. I haven’t seen him since, but I’m thinking he made it through the night just fine.
I learned this lesson that night: Faith has to make sense for the real problems in life. We can talk about things that have to do with our beliefs, faith, religion, etc., and that’s great. We can discuss God is love, Jesus as man, and the Holy Spirit’s role in our lives. But until these truths deal concretely with the problems in our lives, they don’t mean much of anything to most people.
How well are we equipped as Christians to explain God in a way that makes sense to people? More importantly, in a way that matters to people? I’ve found that if God can’t keep a person safe from the Mean Guys, it really doesn’t matter if Jesus died for their sins. Theologically speaking, that’s really hard for me to say, but if it doesn't deal with real life, it's probably bad theology anyway.
While I don’t have any quick fix answers on how to make faith matter for someone else, I will suggest one thing: Listening.
If you listen to a person long enough, they will tell you what matters to them. They might not say it right out, but if you really listen you’ll hear themes, names, stories come up over and over again. Listen to any mother; you’ll know her kids matter to her. Listen to a teenager; it won’t take long to know whether they’re trying to fit in, or if they get along with their parents, or if they feel like they’re worth anything.
Then, after listening, listen again. This time, listen to the Holy Spirit. What does God offer that situation, that hurt? How is God able to speak into that life? What is the hope that matters in their life? That’s the hardest part to figure out. But if you’re not wrestling with that, you’re probably not doing much evangelizing, which is not (contrary to popular belief) converting people, it’s spreading the Good News.
What is the good news? It’s going to be different in every situation. Ultimately, we believe the good news is that Jesus has reconciled us with God the Father, and the Holy Spirit goes along with us to bring about a better world for everyone until Jesus comes again. But people need you to bring them real good news that matters for their lives.
For one kid, the good news that matters is that God is bigger than Mean Guys.
What’s the Good News in your life?
3 comments:
I love it! I have my guesses as to whose kid that was :o) Knowing what matters to someone really helps you know how to support them and come along side them- listening is key. Good reminder. Thanks Dan!
Isn't it amazing what you can learn from a child? Sometimes they teach us ("adults") more than we teach them. we need them in our lives in some form or another to remind us that we once were that pure and that much closer to God.
MB - Wouldn't take too many guesses, ha. Glad you enjoyed. :)
Anna - It is crazy. They know a lot more than we give them credit for, and they usually just see things how they are without all our twisted emotional and intellectual games clouding everything.
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