2:15 A.M. I'm startled from my slumber by a ringing phone. Judging by the stark black, it's well into the night, not yet time for the receptionist or director to have made their way to work.
Most days I bring a cordless into the room. Four guys who sleep deeply should have as many phones as possible in this business. Each late night call carries its own significant weight, and it's a responsibility we can't afford to drop. I almost always have a phone. Today, I forgot.
I leapt from bed, taking off down the hall. I'm fairly certain I woke at the start of the first ring, which is unusual, but good for the rest of the guys who get to sleep through until morning. I picked up the phone in my usual fashion, "________ Funeral Home, this is Dan."
"Hi, ... Dan Lugo?"
Surprised, "...Yes..."
That was about the last thing I expected to hear on the other end. Turns out the voice on the other side knew me, and knew me right from the start. Most people know I live here, so that didn't shock me; but it was truly unexpected. Thankfully, the voice continued, identifying itself as a friend I see regularly. Though it's not necessarily a close relationship, it is a strong one based on trust and respect.
As you can imagine, this friend had a loved one pass away. And I was the person to field that call. In this once-in-a-lifetime moment, I was the person to pick up.
I've heard my name said hundreds of times before. But never like that. It was a voice of relief, followed by, "I knew you would answer the phone," which sounded like it was coming through up-turned corners of a mouth. For a person in that situation, that says a lot. I was glad to be the one to answer.
One of the funeral directors this morning talked with me about it. He said when he was just three months into directing, he went on a "removal" (the technical term for picking up a body from a house), and it turned out he was an acquaintance of the grandson of the deceased. The grandson was in the apartment when the director came in, and was glad to see him.
The director told me what his mentor had told him: It puts a person at ease to know someone they trust is taking care of their loved one. It's awkward to be on this side of it, but it really is a good thing for them. He told me to imagine being in the situation from the other side, and I found it to be true.
In that moment, when I answered the call, when I heard my name, everything changed. These are no longer "death calls." They are broken hearts calling with stories and hopes and love and families and faces. There aren't bodies to be picked up; they are loved ones on their way to being laid to rest.
Pastorally speaking, I'm glad I could take the call. And I'm glad I'll see that person a couple times this week. I think I'm also the only pastor they know, so if they need someone, at least I know I am someone they trust.
I'll be glad to pick up the phone.
8 comments:
That's an amazing way to see that, Mr. Lugo. When my brother died, and the ambulance took his body away, the most terrifying thing was realizing that no one in that vehicle knew my brother...that his body was going with strangers.
Fortunately, as a believer, we know that it's only an empty shell...that the real person, as a fellow believer, is with our Savior.
You have the craziest stories, by the way.
There were so many times in the trauma center that I would be sitting with a family who had just lost a loved one, and one of the family members (when leaving), would pull me aside and say, "Will he/she be taken care of tonight?" They would often specifically ask me if I would be willing to sit with their loved one in the morgue.
I am thankful that you were there for this person in that moment, and I think it is a great perspective to have when answering these calls in the future. The Lord be with you Dan.
Hannah - I had no idea about your brother. That's a great perspective; thanks for sharing! And I don't feel like my stories are that crazy, considering the people I surround myself with. ;)
Andy - Wow. I can't even imagine those situations. I guess I will, though whenever CPE happens (next summer!). I'm glad I could be that person, too.
Dan! Your writing is amazing. Very thought provoking and heartfelt! Keep it up!
Melissa - Thanks so much! It's become a part of my life that I look forward to, so I'm glad you enjoy it, too. :)
"It puts a person at ease to know someone they trust is taking care of their loved one."
This is the faith we have as Christians, and I think it's why my parents are desperately trying to find traces of faith as they clean out my grandpa's house.
A Max Lucado book.
A daily devotional.
An old Bible.
Signs that he may be taken care of by someone we trust, so hearts can be at ease.
Lauren - Good call. Wow, that's pretty heavy. Thanks for sharing.
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