Running Into Something

Tonight, I ran.

Five laps around the pond of my backyard. I figure that's about 1 mile. A good impulse run to work out some of the caffeine of my quadruple espresso. Hours later my fingers still jitter above the keys.

Tonight, I ran.

Lap 1. Let's keep a slow pace. I guess I'll run one, walk one, run two, walk one. That'll be good. I wonder if those guys fishing are going to catch anything.

Tonight, I ran.

Lap 2. God, I want to finish something. I want to go 13.1 miles because I need to. I need a challenge. I need to stop being complacent and actually do something. I guess they didn't catch anything.

Tonight, I ran.

Lap 3. This is a good thing. I can feel it. I need to have some sort of story. Maybe this is my inciting incident. I really can't go back now. My life doesn't have enough stories. And I already paid my $45 entry.

Tonight, I ran.

Lap 4. You know, I've never had to work really hard for anything. My life has been easy. Minimal studying still warranted good grades, my jobs have been relatively simple sales, retail and food-service positions, my church work is only as intense as I make it. And, come to think of it, the hardest conflict of my life was momentary. I didn't have to work hard at it. I essentially faced it a moment, turned and ran. And in certain ways, I'm still running. Really, most of the running I've done hasn't been running into anything; I've always been running away. I swallowed a bug.

Tonight, I ran.

Lap 5. I don't care how much farther I have to go. I just have to finish. This time it's not about distance, impressing other people or looking good. It's not for my ego or to be in shape. It's not to prove anything. I just need to finish. I need to finish because I've never had to work at anything, and I need to work hard. I need to work at my job. I need to work at my church, my education, my relationships. It's not about anything but finishing, and becoming a better character by the end.

Tonight, I run.