Relationships - The Right To Be Heard

The hardest groups to talk to, in my opinion, are teenagers.

Teenagers have this uncanny ability to know exactly what you think of them, without you even letting them know. And they know if you're just putting on a show, or if you really mean what you're saying. They haven't been corrupted by years of listening to bull poopoo from people. And really, they just might blow you off.

The second group of near-impossible conversationalists are... attractive members of the opposite sex (henceforth: amotos). Of course! It all makes sense. They usually think you're out with some "agenda" because... well, you are.

So, here's a continuation of my every-other-week-or-so blog series on relationships, or more appropriately, single living.

There is something that amotos and teenagers have in common. Just like teenagers, amotos won't listen to you until you've earned the right to be heard. You need something that'll grab their attention and give you some sort of credibility. For teenagers, it's usually making some connection that subtly says you're not completely lame.

For amotos, your right to be heard can be earned several different ways. Note that I can only speak from a male perspective. So, that being said, here is an incomplete list in the order that I think of them:

1) Physical Appearance

The easiest way to get amotos to notice you is to look cute/hot. Either one will do, and each will attract a different type of person. Just remember, if your bait isn't your hook, don't expect quality. In other words, if you're going to dress hot to attract guys, then chances are you'll attract a guy who's only interested in your body.

There's a delicate balance to be achieved between looking good and gaining the right to be heard with amotos. Basically, practice general grooming. If you're not dirty, you're good to go. And heck, if you like dirty guys, by all means.

Aside from appearance, what else could earn you the right to be heard?

2) Common Interest

Somehow, if you can strike up conversation on a common interest, you at least have gained an audience for that topic. These conversations could be set off by someone having your favorite band on their bumper sticker, looking at the same book in B&N, standing by the same movie at Blockbuster, looking at the same juice in the grocery store, or admiring the same child in the maternity ward. Any of these ... could help you start a conversation instantly gaining the right to be heard.

3) Common Complaint

Everyone loves complaining! If something bothers them that bothers you, they'll complain about it, then you have a chance to respond, and maybe continue conversation. You can almost always start with the weather. Especially in Chicago.

4) Mutual Friend

If they're friends with your friend, and you're friends with your friend, then there's a good chance you've got something in common. Of course, your mediant friend will know automatically whether or not the pairing will work. So, ask.

5) Educational Goals

People like people that are intellectually on the same plane as them. If you're going into an advanced degree, you've got that to talk about. If you hate school and decided it's not for you, someone else will be able to instantly connect.