The Vocal Dilemma

You don't know what you got 'til it's gone.

It's true.

I sing.

A lot.

I'm in a band. I lead worship at church. I yell out random choruses during my work day to help the time pass. I sing when I'm frustrated. I sing when I'm excited. I just like to sing all the time.

I sing.

I used to sing.

Just like any muscles, the vocal chords don't react well to abuse. I suspect mine are reacting to poor treatment, because my voice has not been well for a couple of months now. Some weekends I would say I over-exerted myself, so a week off would do me well. And it would. Lately, it hasn't been as quick a recovery.

After pretty much any show, the next day my voice, or at least the parts that control my speaking/singing mechanism, is uncomfortable. I've lost a bit of my range. I'm straining to sing where I used to be comfortable. Talking gets tiring. I'm barely singing at church anymore. I don't sing in my free time. I don't know what to do when I'm frustrated. Or how to express joy.

It's incredible how what we do can be such a huge part of who we are. I, for the last 10 years or so, have been a singer. I've either fronted bands, led worship, or just been Dan with the guitar. Any occassion was an occassion to sing. Still, every occassion is one to sing. But I haven't been doing the singing.

I used to sing.

I want to sing.

I'm hoping that some exercises and better treatment will help me get through the next few months, and that some sort of substantial healing will take place. I know I need better technique. (I have the knowledge, I just don't use it. Smart.) I need better breath control. I need to learn how to sing while holding a guitar. There's a lot of re-training to do.

Being unable to sing makes me realize how much I enjoy it. And how much of myself I put into it. I don't just sing. I am a singer. I am a vocalist. I am a harmonizer. I create sound for the sake of art, and for function. sddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddds,mm, cxx

Someone fell asleep at the keyboard.

I want to sing.