I always thought I might be among the unsmooth. Now I'm sure of it!
Just an hour ago I was with some friends at Champps sports bar for a farewell gathering for a fellow co-worker. A friend of mine looked over at an adjacent cocktail table and noticed some young ladies he found attractive. After discussing for a while about how he should go talk to them, and him consistently refusing, I decided to go ahead and try to succeed in his stead.
In case you think I'm good at talking to complete strangers, I'm not. Especially when I'm approaching people with no good reason to do so. It was awkward. AWK-WARD. I don't even really remember what I said when I approached, but I do remember getting that sort of look you'd imagine you'd see on The Hills when someone walks in wearing last Spring's colors. It was so awkward that I pretty much said, "never mind." And I walked away.
I have no idea how that could have gone better. But it was an epic fail! And I'm a better person for it.
[I apologize if this is a little disjointed. I'm really tired.]
Showing posts with label fail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fail. Show all posts
Friday, July 3, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Guest Fail #2: Worst. DTR.* Ever.
Today we have a story from guest blogger Anders. The only successful part of this story was that she successfully boarded the fail train.
I had been e-mailing back and forth with this guy almost daily for… well… way too long. And I felt like we weren’t on the same page. (Note: sending mixed CDs sends a mixed signal.) I didn’t want to lead him on since I just wanted to be friends, so I tried to clarify our quasi-relationship.
I was de-friended.
Fail.
Once I fully analyzed everywhere I went wrong, I was given two great pieces of advice. One was quite lovely and very Shakespearean: “Get thee to a nunnery.” Being that I was raised Lutheran, that’s a little tricky. But I do like the idea of a Lutheran convent, so I haven’t given up on that idea.
The other comment was that I needed a tone editor. I wanted to be defensive and claim that HE was the one that needed a tone editor. But then I thought, “Well, don’t we all kind of need one?” Not only in how we speak to people but also in how we interpret them. How many times do we ascribe motives to people that aren’t there? Or read into things that weren’t meant to be there? I think about how people love to read between the lines when there’s truly nothing written.
So just in case I have to DTR again, I think I’ll keep a tone editor handy.
And in case that doesn’t work out, I’m working on that Lutheran convent.
* Define the Relationship
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Fail #2 - A Lesson in Humility
When I'm not going to class or working at a restaurant, I work with Living Hope in Palos Heights, a 6-month old church plant.
I have two basic functions at LH, college pastor and assistant worship leader (not a real title, but a function). The latter role consists of consulting with the pastor, helping select songs, creating a service flow, leading the band, and leading all of this during service.* These are all things I did at Judson as a worship arts major, so I didn't think there would be any problem transferring these skills to LH.
I was wrong.
Over the past few days I was working on the order for this coming Sunday. This is the first time I've done this at LH, and the first time I've tried it alone in a while. Calling Elissa, the other assistant worship leader, I tried to tell her what I had so far. She helped me think through things, but I was still hitting walls. We decided it'd be fine.
At band practice that night, we, nay, I had no service order ready. Then when the band was there, we/I didn't really have a tight rein on the rehearsal. So by the end, it seemed like the whole experience just didn't go that well. I had tried to do it all, but really did nothing well.
*sigh* I thought the process would be much easier. I thought there would be no problem from beginning to end. And, I thought that if things got out of control, Pastor would jump in and bail us out. Well, it was difficult, there were problems, and he respectfully let us fall on our faces.
It was awesome.
I was talking to Elissa and Mary Beth afterwards and shared that it was a really humbling experience. I really couldn't do what I thought I could do, at least not on command. And it was even worse because I was allowed to fall.
But I did learn from it. I learned how much work Pastor does each week just on the service. I learned that it is a difficult process. I learned that I need to step up my game. I learned that I need to exhibit more confidence, and before that I may need to gain confidence. I learned a lot.
Anyone else have any fails lately? I would like to have guest bloggers for the fail series. It'll be healthy.
*Of course, this couldn't be done without Elissa's help. Had to put that out there.
I have two basic functions at LH, college pastor and assistant worship leader (not a real title, but a function). The latter role consists of consulting with the pastor, helping select songs, creating a service flow, leading the band, and leading all of this during service.* These are all things I did at Judson as a worship arts major, so I didn't think there would be any problem transferring these skills to LH.
I was wrong.
Over the past few days I was working on the order for this coming Sunday. This is the first time I've done this at LH, and the first time I've tried it alone in a while. Calling Elissa, the other assistant worship leader, I tried to tell her what I had so far. She helped me think through things, but I was still hitting walls. We decided it'd be fine.
At band practice that night, we, nay, I had no service order ready. Then when the band was there, we/I didn't really have a tight rein on the rehearsal. So by the end, it seemed like the whole experience just didn't go that well. I had tried to do it all, but really did nothing well.
*sigh* I thought the process would be much easier. I thought there would be no problem from beginning to end. And, I thought that if things got out of control, Pastor would jump in and bail us out. Well, it was difficult, there were problems, and he respectfully let us fall on our faces.
It was awesome.
I was talking to Elissa and Mary Beth afterwards and shared that it was a really humbling experience. I really couldn't do what I thought I could do, at least not on command. And it was even worse because I was allowed to fall.
But I did learn from it. I learned how much work Pastor does each week just on the service. I learned that it is a difficult process. I learned that I need to step up my game. I learned that I need to exhibit more confidence, and before that I may need to gain confidence. I learned a lot.
Anyone else have any fails lately? I would like to have guest bloggers for the fail series. It'll be healthy.
*Of course, this couldn't be done without Elissa's help. Had to put that out there.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Failing in the New Year
Sometimes you try. Sometimes you fail. Sometimes you succeed unexpectedly. But just because you might fail, does that mean you shouldn't try?
We have now passed the season of giving and charity and entered into the season of making ourselves better. I'm thinking this traditionally started because the season of giving and charity made us realize how ungiving and uncharitable we are. Not being able to tolerate ourselves, it became an American tradition to make New Year's Resolutions.
Sometimes our resolutions have to do with ourselves, our health, studies, whatever. Other times it is relational, how we are involved with family, friends, strangers. And still other times there are spiritual goals regarding prayer and other disciplines. Then, there are just random resolutions. (You really need to click that.)
One thing I don't like about resolutions is my proclivity to fail at them. I normally don't follow through too well. I don't know how many times I've tried doing something physical and stopped. So I hesitate to try the same resolution or goal.
Let's step off resolutions for a second. I think we would all like to do something, or things, that we just don't think we'd be able to do, but would like to. For some reason, we don't have the time, don't make the time, or are too worried about success to try something that might just be amazing. For me, sometimes I think I don't want to try because if I do that, then I'm taking away from time I could be doing other things. Usually at the end, I don't do anything, then the time is really wasted.
Instead of standing still, I have decided this, that life is long enough to try something and fail at it, but too short not to try to succeed. Even if you fail, chances are you've got 60-75 years ahead of you (my readers, at least) to try other things, to succeed and fail. But looking back in 10, 20, 50 years and saying, "I should have tried," means you had a lot of time to recover if you fell on your face.
I don't know what my thing is that I need to try, but I'm sure it's out there. Probably do a tour, or a road trip, or something. But whatever that is, if it goes wrong, I can recover. I mean, even bankruptcy is off your record in 7 years. I'd only be 32! (My parents would love to hear me say that, ha.)
So, this year, 2009, your assignment is this:
Fail.
Fail boldly. Fall hard. Get a few scratches, bruise up, cry to your friends. Then get up, and tell the story of you doing whatever it is you wanted to do. A great story happens when a person does what most people normally wouldn't do. So, go make a story.
Happy New Year,
Dan
We have now passed the season of giving and charity and entered into the season of making ourselves better. I'm thinking this traditionally started because the season of giving and charity made us realize how ungiving and uncharitable we are. Not being able to tolerate ourselves, it became an American tradition to make New Year's Resolutions.
Sometimes our resolutions have to do with ourselves, our health, studies, whatever. Other times it is relational, how we are involved with family, friends, strangers. And still other times there are spiritual goals regarding prayer and other disciplines. Then, there are just random resolutions. (You really need to click that.)
One thing I don't like about resolutions is my proclivity to fail at them. I normally don't follow through too well. I don't know how many times I've tried doing something physical and stopped. So I hesitate to try the same resolution or goal.
Let's step off resolutions for a second. I think we would all like to do something, or things, that we just don't think we'd be able to do, but would like to. For some reason, we don't have the time, don't make the time, or are too worried about success to try something that might just be amazing. For me, sometimes I think I don't want to try because if I do that, then I'm taking away from time I could be doing other things. Usually at the end, I don't do anything, then the time is really wasted.
Instead of standing still, I have decided this, that life is long enough to try something and fail at it, but too short not to try to succeed. Even if you fail, chances are you've got 60-75 years ahead of you (my readers, at least) to try other things, to succeed and fail. But looking back in 10, 20, 50 years and saying, "I should have tried," means you had a lot of time to recover if you fell on your face.
I don't know what my thing is that I need to try, but I'm sure it's out there. Probably do a tour, or a road trip, or something. But whatever that is, if it goes wrong, I can recover. I mean, even bankruptcy is off your record in 7 years. I'd only be 32! (My parents would love to hear me say that, ha.)
So, this year, 2009, your assignment is this:
Fail.
Fail boldly. Fall hard. Get a few scratches, bruise up, cry to your friends. Then get up, and tell the story of you doing whatever it is you wanted to do. A great story happens when a person does what most people normally wouldn't do. So, go make a story.
Happy New Year,
Dan
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