Guest Fail #2: Worst. DTR.* Ever.

Today we have a story from guest blogger Anders. The only successful part of this story was that she successfully boarded the fail train.

I had been e-mailing back and forth with this guy almost daily for… well… way too long. And I felt like we weren’t on the same page. (Note: sending mixed CDs sends a mixed signal.) I didn’t want to lead him on since I just wanted to be friends, so I tried to clarify our quasi-relationship.

I was de-friended.

Fail.

Once I fully analyzed everywhere I went wrong, I was given two great pieces of advice. One was quite lovely and very Shakespearean: “Get thee to a nunnery.” Being that I was raised Lutheran, that’s a little tricky. But I do like the idea of a Lutheran convent, so I haven’t given up on that idea.

The other comment was that I needed a tone editor. I wanted to be defensive and claim that HE was the one that needed a tone editor. But then I thought, “Well, don’t we all kind of need one?” Not only in how we speak to people but also in how we interpret them. How many times do we ascribe motives to people that aren’t there? Or read into things that weren’t meant to be there? I think about how people love to read between the lines when there’s truly nothing written.

So just in case I have to DTR again, I think I’ll keep a tone editor handy.

And in case that doesn’t work out, I’m working on that Lutheran convent.

* Define the Relationship

Outre Paraphernalia

I'm a big fan of dictionary.com.

It's true. I look up words often, usually when I realize I have never seen them in print before.

Today's search: Paraphernalia.

I would give you a definition of it, but something strange happened. I looked it up (for spelling purposes), and it gave me four definitions, for a different word: outre. The primary definition is as follows.

–adjective: passing the bounds of what is usual or considered proper; unconventional; bizarre.
(i.e. "Looking up paraphernalia and finding outre is outre.")

I used to be a big fan of dictionary.com*.



*This link has nothing to do with anything posted, except that it is more accurate than dictionary.com.

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Fail #3: Max Hold

Is there any more than "max"?



I went to Target hoping to get some inexpensive hair gel that would work decently well so that I could continue putting up my increasingly lengthy mop of a do that I am currently refusing to pay $15 to have trimmed. (I re-read it. It's a real sentence.) What did I end up with? I figured since I had Suave shampoo and conditioner that work well, I'd get the gel. And not just any gel...

MAX HOLD!

I was like, "Dang. There isn't anything past max." So I picked it up and put some in before work. Well, I sure hope there's something past max, because this gel really doesn't work well. Seriously. It just makes my hair kind of wet, but not stylish at all.

So today, I looked at the bottle, and noticed something strange. On a scale of 6-10, "max" is an 8.

I guess the other two are the equivalent of turning up your amp to 11. But even if that's true, judging by what 8 is, I don't think 11 would be near enough. I'm a bit disappointed and saddened by my gel purchase.

I guess that's what I deserve for paying two bucks for something that should make me look awesome.

Everyone Poops

A long time ago, a friend bought me a book called Everyone Poops. It was a callback to our first shared memory of high school. Some guy named Shaun (Shawn? Sean? I never know) read it to our drama class. Oh, how magical it was.

Now, there's this:

And apparently there's no way to not make it screw up my page formatting. Oh well. It's worth it.

Yea, it's Friday night and I'm blogging a lot. So what?

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Katie Herzig and Ten out of Tenn

I've kind of liked this Katie Herzig girl for a while. She has pretty decent tunes.

Recently she was on the "Ten Out of Tenn" tour featuring ten different artists from Tennessee. I wish they would have had a Chicago stop! You know why? THIS is why:



Katie will be playing at Schuba's Tuesday night. I might go. Maybe.

Oh... and I missed Laura Gibson at Schuba's tonight. Laaaame!

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Dreams Can Come True

For those of you who had no idea, I used to be called "Spider-Dan" while I was in Orlando.

Really, it's true.

I drove the Spider-Van, my 92 Plymouth Voyager with the wood siding (mine was white). It had Spider-Man floor mats and steering wheel cover (courtesy of Chris Hall). I even once had a Spider-Man challenge with a friend to see who best fit the part. I won.

Now it seems though all my dreams have the chance of coming true. I can be Spider-Man! (Thanks, Bono!)

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International Pillow Fight Day

I'm not one to be apologetic for not blogging for a while, and I'm not planning on starting today.

Did anyone hear about International Pillow Fight Day? I just did today. Check out some videos.

Amazing!

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Willis Tower

If you haven't heard, you're way behind.

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Friends by Procrastination

My Facebook status currently reads as follows:

True or False: The number of [one's] own comments on friends' statuses is directly relative to the amount of work one should be doing.

Though I haven't received many responses yet, I'm assuming most will agree. I mean, really. What else is there better to procrastinate with than seeing what friends are up to?

This could be a social networking phenomenon - friends by procrastination. It is best understood as a negative condition:

If I did not have to procrastinate, then we would not interact.

Before the internet, I think the phone was used a lot for this purpose of procrastination. Of course, I was in middle school and had AIM, so I can't say much. But I remember killing time on the phone when my sister was on the computer. Now, since there is an easier method of communication, the phone is reserved for real relationships, and the internet? For whoever is convenient.

I guess I'm wondering this, If I didn't have any of my social networking tools, how many friends would I really be in touch with? I don't have a number, but I know it would be a lot less.

In some ways, it's a good thing. There is nothing negative about having tons of casual acquaintances that you can shout out things like, "Saw a guy in a banana costume and thought of your mom." It's nice to be thought of.

On the same hand, people still use the phone and getting together for their good friends. So that's a good thing.

In conclusion, the internet is a great tool if you're looking for something to temporarily occupy your time. And if you can make relationships (or quasi-thoughtful blog posts) the result of your procrastination, more power to ya.

Food Hole

Normally, I'm not one to eat much.

Seriously, ask any of my friends and they'll tell you I'm the one who takes a few bites of a meal and is like, "Welp, that's good enough for me."

But for the past few weeks, I've been puttin it down! It all started a few weeks ago when I went to Los Burritos and threw down on a giant burrito and then, meeting up with Cliff and Rachael at DQ after, I put down a soft serve.

Yesterday, my dinner was stir fry, pasta, eggs and tortillas, 2 cups of ice cream, and some cookies. Tonight I ate a meatball sandwich, pasta, ice cream, and cinnamon bread. But I could still eat. I don't know what's wrong with me!

I think it's all this thinking about papers. I get more hungry from thinking than from exercising. Probably since my mind is always running, or something.