One Smart Feller

A friend reminded me of this. Read aloud:

One smart feller, he felt smart.
Two smart fellers, they both felt smart.
Three smart fellers and they all felt smart.

If you made it past that, try to repeat it from memory.

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Not Hooked on Plenty of Fish, or, The End of the Line

The past few days have been rough.

One of the hardest things, I find, is to be honest with myself about my motives, the reasons for why I do things. When these get called into question, I usually end up getting inwardly tied up and frustrated. Today, presently, I am experiencing such tension.

For those who have been following along, you've journeyed with me as I have been exploring the online dating service PlentyofFish.com (PoF). It's a free site, which gives one the opportunity to try online dating with no financial risk. At first, it's quite addictive, though a week or so in you'll begin to see that you've found nearly everyone within 50 miles of you in your first week. Consequently, the addiction wears off.

True to my word, here are some personal experiences, and the culmination which explains the start of this post.

I was in conversation with two different people. We'll call them Melissa and Amy. Melissa had contacted me. I noticed we had a few things in common, including church, music, and being over drama. So, we talked a bit, connecting on a few of those items. After two weeks or so of that we decided to meet up for some disc golf or comparable outing.

Amy is one I had contacted. I thought she had a cute picture, and her profile had just enough connection points to figure it was worth a shot. We talked for about a week, at the end of which, she included her number and asked me to contact her this week.

I was going to go on the date with Melissa, and while I thought we had a few things in common, I didn't think we'd totally connect. A few months ago, I went on a similar date, one with little potential. A friend reminded me that I had decided afterward that if there didn't seem to be much potential in a relationship, I wasn't going to go on the date. Well, here I was in the situation, doing the exact opposite of what I decided I would do. So, I ended up canceling.

I not only canceled my date, I also canceled my PoF account, canceling Amy's number as well.

Why would I do such a thing?

It was totally a motive check. I had to ask myself, do I know what I'm looking for and am I ready for it? Or am I just a little bored because it's summer, so I'm looking for something to do? If it's the first, then that could work. If it's the second, I probably shouldn't be dragging someone along, leading to the inevitable DTR that I keep not wanting to have. For me, it's more the second than the first.*

For some people, I think the online thing is good. For me, right now, it's not the best option. I need to be in a place where I'm a little more sure of what I'm looking for, and why I'm looking for it.

Got any answers?

Go fish.

*There's more to it than what I've written, I just don't want to blog about it. Person-to-person I'll totally go into more detail.

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Let Love In - help with lyrics

Could someone tell me, where is love? ‘cause I haven’t found her yet
They say you find it in your heart, well my chest is up for rent
It’s one-bedroom, but it’s got just space enough
And it’s lovely, though the neighborhood is rough

Where is love?

Bad years had brought bad times, so I bolted up the door
But no tenant means no rent, and no payment makes one poor
But now things are looking better, in my heart’s economy
And I’m hoping someone needs a place to stay

I wanna let love in; don’t want to keep her on the street anymore
From the floor to the ceiling this heart’s been healing, not revealing it was wrecked before
I wanna let love in; [take the hinges off the door]
If it’s gonna let love in
Let love in

This place was haunted by a ghost, a phantom from the past
La di da di da di da, but I’m free of him at last
Now I’m not sure of the condition, of all that’s left behind
But I’ll fix it up to make a home inside

-----------------

I'm mainly stuck on that last verse. I like the rest. And the chorus can't be done until the music is finished being written. Maybe something about kicking him out? And transitioning the idea of lines 1 & 2 to 3 &4 would be helpful. I'm just not sure how to get there.

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My First Feature

For the first time that I'm aware of, one of my songs was used for the background of a video.

What's next? Hopefully Grey's Anatomy. Of course, I'd have to be able to come up with something as amazing as "Crazy Ever After (Acoustic)", but it's totally doable.

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Where is Love?

We now take a break from our regularly scheduled series to present this: lyrics.
(Most likely to read this: Lauren, Anders, VJ)

Could someone tell me, where is love? ‘cause we haven’t found it yet
They say you find it in your heart, well my chest is up for rent
It’s one-bedroom, but it’s got just space enough
And it’s lovely, though the neighborhood is rough

 
Where is love?
Where is love?

 
Bad years have brought bad times, it seems love has left the streets
There’s no chance for playful dance, in a me-first economy
The tune should be ringing in my ear, but I just can’t find the beat
Is there any way of finding what I need?

Finding love should be simple enough
Throw up a beacon, light the sky up
Love’d be there
It’d come rushing in, fill the streets with a flood
There’d be rivers of joy, hate destroyed in the mud
Where is love?

Maybe politics could solve, but love never gets a vote
When the system’s on parade, love never gets a float
She’s the square peg, but there’s no hole to be found
Unless there’s another spare part layin round

Finding love should be simple enough
Throw up a beacon, light the sky up
Love’d be there
It’d come rushing in, fill the streets with a flood
There’d be rivers of joy, hate destroyed in the mud
Where is love?

We’re all lookin for love
But we don’t want to be hurt
Should be simple enough
We’re all lookin for love
That doesn’t cost a thing
Are we looking for love?
Or just a fling

Finding love should be simple enough
Throw up a beacon, light the sky up
Love’d be there
It’d come rushing in, fill the streets with a flood
There’d be rivers of joy, hate destroyed in the mud
Where is love?

So, I went out for dinner, and forgot the melody for this song entirely. Freakin poo. It was a good one. I'm rewriting almost all of the lyrics, because it didn't land how I wanted it to. But, there you go.

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Plenty of Fist

That was supposed to say "fish," but I find my typo humorous.

It can be indicative of my mood, though. Perhaps a Freudian slip? That's in regard to communication, which is what we're looking at today.

As opposed to a site like eHarmony which utilizes mediated communication, PoF allows users to directly contact one another through its internal email. Some of the benefits this method offers are that the user can see who has not read, read, and/or deleted their email. I find this helpful. That way, if I'm not being responded to, I can see that perhaps it was never read. For those worrisome types, this would likely help calm nerves and self-confidence issues.


There is also a "favorites" option. I didn't understand what it meant at first. I still don't, really. But as best as I can gather, adding someone as a "favorite" is kind of like a smile from across the room. It is an invitation to open a conversation. The user is alerted when they are made a favorite, and can check the person's profile, deciding if further contact should be made. I guess it's a modern spin on an old-fashioned idea - the guy can be the initiator. At least that's what I'm sensing. Feel free to suggest your own opinions on that matter.

Finally, there are attachable gifts, much like the ones found on Facebook. One friend who also joined the site sent me a steak, which I found hilarious. So the gifts can be used as a clever ice-breaker.

That's plenty of background. I'll try and update some personal experiences, should I happen to have any. And I'll see if I can coerce my friends on the site to share their experiences as well, since they are in dialogue with potential matches.

Plenty of Fish, Part Deux

There are several ways to fish.

First, there's the basic search, which is by city or region. It basically lets one choose male or female, an age range, and a distance from the epicenter (aka... the person who wants a date). Find matches and see who comes up.

Then there's the advanced search. This allows the person to choose race, religion, smoking preferences, children, etc. It narrows down the field a whole lot. In the case of someone like me, who is looking for a Christian, it weeds out all those whom I wouldn't even have a chance with, and vice versa.

There are two other interesting options. First is by chemistry. It matches your entrance quiz answers with those of others, trying to match compatibility that way. Apparently the whole idea of these quizzes is to match compatibility, and then if that's there, chemistry. Pretty decent method if you ask me. eHarmony is really cashing in on that one.

The other search mode is "find someone like..." Basically, if you find someone who is interesting, but for some reason you're not interested enough, or you just want more people like that, you can click that option. The benefit is that you are able to find people that don't seem to come up on the normal search. On the flipside, when you use this function it tends to throw out some of the essentials (i.e. religious preference, children, etc.).

These are all the methods you can use to search on PoF. Next time, communication!

Plenty of Fish

I'm in the pond.

At least that's what we've been calling it. I don't know what everyone else says, but I think it's very appropriate.

Let me back up a step.

A week ago, I sat at my computer, checked my MySpace, and was confronted by the plain-text, horribly lackluster advertisement for PlentyOfFish.com (hereby PoF). It's an ad for a free online dating service.

For years I have been interested by the idea of online dating services. It was just a curiosity of the unknown. Recently I have had at least two friends who have had some success with online dating sites. Last week I decided that I would scratch my curious itch by signing up for a free account. My roommates said they wouldn't think less of me, which was helpful.

For those of you who don't want to do it, but are curious to know how they work, here's my PoF experience, so far:

Upon signing up, the first thing you do is fill out your information: Age, sex, location, seeking male or female, type of relationship (dating, hang out, intimate encounter, activity partner, etc.), number of children, current relationship status, religious preference, etc.

Second, you make your profile, which lets you upload pictures, includes a headline, your interests, and lets you describe your idea of a good first date.

Finally, there is a questionnaire which they use to try to calculate your chemistry with other people. (I thought that was kind of boring.)

Then... you go fishing! More on that later.

Milestone

151.

That's what this post is. It's number 151. I thought I'd get here sooner. Somehow I haven't had much to say in the past many months. I'm not sure I had much to say earlier either, but found it a healthy escape from whatever else I was supposed to be doing, i.e. listening to profs in class.

151 is just a little over one-and-a-half hundreds. My MySpace has just been changed after one-and-a-half years of being the same. That's kinda nice. Today I made about one-and-a-half hundred bucks after working all day. I'll use that to pay my one-and-a-half trillion dollars in student loans.

I decided to change my Blogger profile picture. It's interesting, I think, that when I was looking I found one picture I liked, but I really wanted one with me smiling. I'm a pretty happy guy, and I think smiling is good for the world. So there's a picture of me at Niagra Falls. Super fun!

Do you like smiles? When was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn't stop?

My most memorable recent one was at ... that buffalo wing place in buffalo. I thought I had a picture of it. Oh well. Here's a different picture that made me laugh real hard:



That's right. If you look real close, the sticker inside of the menu at Swiss Chalet said, "TRY OUR NEW SHIT SANDWICH." That made me laugh real hard, and the waitress assured us she would not be making that one. Good times.

Fail #4: Epic talk to strangers fail!

I always thought I might be among the unsmooth. Now I'm sure of it!

Just an hour ago I was with some friends at Champps sports bar for a farewell gathering for a fellow co-worker. A friend of mine looked over at an adjacent cocktail table and noticed some young ladies he found attractive. After discussing for a while about how he should go talk to them, and him consistently refusing, I decided to go ahead and try to succeed in his stead.

In case you think I'm good at talking to complete strangers, I'm not. Especially when I'm approaching people with no good reason to do so. It was awkward. AWK-WARD. I don't even really remember what I said when I approached, but I do remember getting that sort of look you'd imagine you'd see on The Hills when someone walks in wearing last Spring's colors. It was so awkward that I pretty much said, "never mind." And I walked away.

I have no idea how that could have gone better. But it was an epic fail! And I'm a better person for it.

[I apologize if this is a little disjointed. I'm really tired.]