This year:
The Rules for Valentine's Day
Rules for Couples
1. No making out in public.
This should go without saying, but even with saying, it's going to happen. No one wants to see it, and it's not just the single people complaining. It's everyone. Just don't do it.
2. Have fun.
DV should be fun. Try to ignore all the Singles Awareness Day (SAD) people, and enjoy the fact that you have someone to spend the day with. Just don't make out in public.
3. If you go out to eat (a) pay attention and (b) tip well.
Think of how crappy it is to serve 164 people in one night who just ogle at each other, completely ignoring the server. When your server asks a question, respond kindly. When the meal is over, tip them well. They don't have the good fortune of being out with their sweetheart, so show them some freakin' sympathy. Oh, and don't make out at the table. That's gross.
Rules for Singles
1. No complaining about DV
Honestly, does it need to happen? So you don't have someone to oggle at while you ignore the server, big deal. There are tons of other single people out there in the same situation, and if you want to bring down the mood for the whole world, then maybe there's a reason you're single.
2. Have fun.
If you're going to have a SAD party, don't serve haterade. Make it fun! Have a themed party. Or just be ridiculous. Bust out those Halloween costumes you worked on for a month just to wear for 6 hours. Get together with friends and watch a good singles movie like Hitch. Have a good time for goodness sakes!
3. No hooking up.
Okay, so you're a bunch of singles who have been watching people make out for most of the day and now you're feeling lonely and want to be with someone. Remember, every year there is a February 15, and whatever you did the day before still actually happened.
Rules for Long-Distance Couples
1. Don't spend it alone.
Being away from your other sucks. There's no way around that, especially on a day that celebrates romantic togetherness. So, don't spend it alone.
2. Have fun.
Go hang with your single friends. Then when they break their rule #1 you can think that about your special someone and how glad you are to have found them.
Blogged with the Flock Browser
10 comments:
Halloween Costumes!
Clearly, I'm still loving this idea.
I love your yearly DV posts. I hope you have a great day, minus the hatoraide.
(Best insult ever said to me by a 7 year old: "You're all up in my kool-aid and you don't even know the flavor!" That had nothing to do with your post, but hatoraid made me think of it.)
It's really funny...since Robb is going to be gone all day on VDay, I was going to watch Hitch. That's so odd.
Great ideas, especially the not making out in public thing. Ugh!
a) hilarious!... b) i was highly distracted by "DV"... Josh says it's because you can't say VD because that's an STD- but just think, that could be one of the posts "dont get VD on ValDay!" :) ... c) love yah, Dan!
You are so lucky you didn't put me on that damn singles countdown-links-list. I was just waiting to pop up from one your clicks, and ... I'll repeat ... you're SO lucky you didn't include me.
I sure hope those other girls appreciate their singlenesshood being advertised. Does that make you the "good" friend with the single target/mark to refer?
I still like the 3rd grade Valentine box party idea. Maybe a bad Valentine sweater party ...
Lauren - I look forward to the costume pictures. I think the day will go well. I'm thinking the perfect scenario is a table full of young, single, beautiful enough, Christian females will sit at one of my tables at lunch at the restaurant tomorrow and there will be some sizzle, if you know what I mean. (No, not fajitas.) And thanks for the random kool-aid.. that's hilarious!
Justin - Hitch is a classic DV movie, or it should be. I guess it's not old enough to be a classic. But it could be "classic" one day. And no making out in public is the best rule ever. It's right up there with "Employees must wash hands."
Leesa - a) thanks! b) If you read last year's post it would totally make sense, and Josh was right. c)love yah too! d)"don't get a VD on ValDay!" would be an amazing t-shirt.
Erin - Really, I considered it. But I thought, "I don't know if she's single. She's kinda clever, and cutish, so probably not." So now I'll have to write an entire post announcing your availability to all Minnesotans. Love of cats is a pre-req. I'm not sure how the other girls feel about it. I'm sure they don't mind. And if they do, they can counter-blog.
Erin- having our "singleness advertised" totally doesn't bother me, nor my roommates. We're comfortable in ours singlehood and it's what we are, so Dan's not declaring anything new!!
Dan- "I don't know if she's single. She's kinda clever, and cutish, so probably not." So that means that we're...? Not clever or cutish apparently! Choose your words carefully...we do live next door. And of course, we can counter-blog.
Oh my gosh. I soooo want to use the seven-year-old's insult from Lauren.
And I'm very confused about the singles countdown links list.
But yay for Hitch. Not only did I watch that movie, but I busted out Kevin James' dance moves at the party I was at later that night. Q-tip...
Carrie - of course y'all are clever and cutish! It's just I already know you're single. no guesswork. it's just fact. so stop trying to get me in trouble! (although a counter-blog would only be flattering.)
Anders - You're all up in my kool-aid...
Please tell me there was some sizzle. I expect sizzle!
Wish i read this sooner. Very funny, as always!!
Hey, we should insult each other soon. Which means you should call me soon while i think of a hurtful thing to say to you. :)
Post a Comment