Justified Guilt?

Help me figure out the appropriate level of guilty feeling.

I'm going to try and rehearse the conversation that happened in my head earlier today. It's stream of consciousness, which is a step-up from a trickle of consciousness, but a step down from a creek of consciousness.

Why do people feel so guilty about missing church? It's like the worst thing a person can do, it seems. I don't see the big deal. Really, I'm just glad when people show up. But then I see people after they miss a week, and they're like, "Sorry..." Sorry for what? I'm not keeping attendance. I'm not offended. And I don't think I ever put undue pressure on anyone to show up. But still, this "sorry" motif is regular. Church guilt is pervasive.

I don't want to go to class. You know why? Because I'm not prepared. I didn't do the work, and it's a reminder that I didn't do well enough, so I feel guilty. So I just don't want to go. Instead of facing up to the conflict, I'll avoid it. Oddly, my professor's never make me feel bad about not reading or being prepared. So, why do I feel guilty? I guess I just know I can do better. This is school and all. I want to do well. I just feel guilty because I'm not doing as well as I can.

There isn't any guilt at the bar. Monday night, if I show up to the Public House, everyone's glad to see me. And when others walk in, everyone's glad to see them. "Hey, I haven't seen you in weeks!" "I know! I missed you guys!" That's the conversation. There isn't any guilt at the bar. No one's keeping track, but no one ever feels bad. What if church was more like the bar, where everyone came when they came, but then they didn't feel bad when they didn't? That'd be nice.

Of course, what's our responsibility for one another at the bar? Nothing. Whether I show up or not, there's no difference. Everyone's there to socialize, so it doesn't matter whether I'm there or not. In class, I have a responsibility to my classmates. If the class is discussion-based and I haven't read, or if I haven't completed my online work, I haven't benefited anyone. I am dead weight that they have to carry along. So maybe there is a reason to feel guilty.

And I guess people are responsible for one another in church, too. We all have responsibility to each other. We encourage one another, hear one another, pray for one another. When a person isn't there, they aren't fulfilling their responsibility. They're breaking their part of the covenant as a member of the community. Sure, you're not going to be around every week, but when someone gratuitously misses, they're letting me down. And when I miss, I'm letting them down.

So, maybe people should feel a little guilt for missing church. By nature it's different than a bar. When people miss, maybe I want them to feel a little bad. Maybe they should apologize for missing. And maybe I should apologize for missing. But when we apologize, if we know why we're apologizing, maybe it can be received. Not, "I'm sorry I missed," but "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you last week." And instead of, "Don't worry about it!" or "It's okay," what if I said, "I missed you last week. I accept your apology. And I'm glad to see you this week. I need you here."? If these words are honest, they may be helpful in our understanding of what missing church means.

That occurred in about 30-seconds in my head.

Thoughts?