Those Little Things - You Got Served, Part 2

There's so much to say!

Rather than trying to put out a massive, all-encompassing dissertation on restaurant life and etiquette, I'm breaking it down into small bits and pieces. That's allegedly how we learn best anyway, right?

First, I'll start with some of VJ's comments.

"Well, the number one rule of being my sever is that I'm funny. If you don't laugh, I instantly feel like you don't care enough."

I totally love laughing at customer's jokes and comments! Having a fun table is actually a way to get your server to serve you better. We try to avoid the ones who put us in a bad mood, so the nicer you are, the more likely you are to be treated with a smile.

But, there are a few things to be aware of:

1. If you're nice, you may not get top-notch, super-fast, blow your socks off service, because they figure you're a little more laid back. And really, you don't mind nice people sitting in your section a little longer.
2. There are times when someone makes a joke, but because of volume, I can't hear what they say. Usually I have to give a courtesy laugh and move on. So, if you're going to joke, make it audible, so they can genuinely appreciate it.
3. Joking is not fun when three other tables behind your server are waiting for stuff. If your server looks like they're trying to cut you off, they probably are. It has nothing to do with you, most likely. The reality is, sometimes a server just has to run around and doesn't have time to talk.

"I heard that leaving change with your tip is rude."

I don't know anyone who thinks it's rude. We just throw it in our pockets and keep going. Here are a few tips on coins, change, slips and tips.

1. Rounding up is always a good measure for bills. You might think, "How important is 50 cents more to a server?" To which they respond, "How important is it for you, if you're not willing to round up to the next dollar?" So, while change isn't obnoxious, it's a kind gesture to simply round up to the next dollar. It makes you look good.

2. It's always appropriate to ask for change for a $10 or $20 if you plan on leaving a better tip. If you really want to be good about it, leave an extra buck as a service charge for your change. It's not necessary, but this isn't about necessary. Oh, and usually servers carry the change on them, so if you take 5 singles and leave them 1, they might have trouble later on in the night. Leave singles if you can.

3. Credit Cards:
a. If you don't sign it, they don't get the tip. So please be sure to leave the right slip, and fill it out entirely. Also, be careful with your math. The tip added and total have to match up, or there could be issues.

b. Biggest server pet peeve: People rounding tips on a credit card without thinking about how much they're actually leaving. If you don't know how to do 15%, do 20% and subtract a dollar. Word on the street is that 18% is the new 15% anyway.

For example: putting "$80" on a "$69.72" check might seem nice, but it's not even 15%. So, 20%-$1= $13. It's 16%, which is much better than 12%.

"I heard that shaking your ice in your glass is the most obnoxious thing you can do. I dunno..."

Most obnoxious? Unlikely. But darn close. How can you avoid the need to make your glass a maraca?

1. Learn your server's name. They'll respond to it. It's better to ask for a refill than to shake your glass.

2. You can make it really easy for both of you by putting the empty glass in a high-visibility spot, like the edge of the table. Your server will get the hint, and even if they aren't around, another one walking by may be able to help you out, because it's an obvious hint.

That last one has far-reaching implications: Make things easy.
If you need plates taken away, stack'em up in an easy-to-reach spot.
If they want to put your food down, move your appetizer plates out of the way.
If they're trying to talk to you, get off your freakin' phone. (Common comment: "If you want to talk on your phone while you eat, stay home or go to McDonald's.")

Call me old-fashioned, but please don't let your kids play video games at the table.

And unless you plan on texting me your order, keep your phone off the table, and out of sight. Have some common courtesy toward the people you're eating with.

More to come. Suggestions on what to address are always helpful!